Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Day 1

…at the One. Omg, did you see how I like, totally played with the words on that? Like…omg, right?


Right?


……..

Okay. Anyway.


The day went on as usual, wake up late, panic, mandi kerbau, jump in the car, realize I forgot to take my bag, panic, turn around, run back in the house to collect bag, jump back in the car.

En route, when I almost made it to college, I realized my ID tag wasn’t on me.


I was like……oh fock.

See, at The One, your student ID is like your golden ticket to all your classes. They have this policy where you’re supposed to carry it with you at all times when you’re on campus. I guess it really isn’t essential but it’s my first day, right, so naturally I’m a little paranoid.

So there I go, emptying the entire contents of my bag, and its not in there. And I’m literally like….

ZOMGahhhh



But we cant turn back cause if we did I would be late for class, so I told my aunt that everything was cool, despite the fact I was having a mini heart attack in the back seat.

So I suck it up, walk to my block and guess what?

The gate was open like they were the Pearly Gates and I was the pope.

Well, they were open cause they were doing some renovation on the 2nd floor, but whatever, right? I was stoked, stoked like a fat kid in a valley of ice cream.

So I prance my ass up to my floor, scaring some of the construction workers along the way with what I can only imagine to be a really really creepy grin plastered on my face, only to realize I can’t get into the actual door to the classrooms without the stupid tag.


Scheizer.


So I have wait out in the hallway till this bunch of kids exit and I sneak my way in.


And voila! I was off to my first official class.


I guess it wasn’t bad, my English lecturer seems nice, and at least she’s not a boring hypocrite like some of the others I’ve had. Although she kept calling me Christine instead of Kim. Which is weird because my mom woulda called me Christine if she hadn’t changed her mind at the last minute.

Christine…Christine. Can you imagine me as a Christine? I would be Chris instead of Kim. So weird. I think Christine’s too high class for me. It always reminds me of that Stephen King movie where the car has a life of its own and goes around killing people. You know that movie? It’s not bad. Anyway, I digress.

My classmates seem okay. It was quiet, but I mean it’s the first day, anyway. It’s kind of bizarre knowing that these are the people who I will be breathing the same air with for 25 hours a week for the next 4 years.

For most of the class I was really hyper because I figure that there was still adrenaline in my veins from before. I think everybody thought I was like the really hyper/friendly type because I still had that stupid smile on my face for the whole time. I couldn’t help it. My cheek muscles were in overdrive. I think I creeped a few of them out, too. Oh well.

The next 3 or so hours went by surprisingly quickly. Then it was off to Pyramid to kill some time before I got a ride home.

And that’s pretty much it. Oh, and after that, I went home and helped to cook dinner and cut onions till I cried. I don’t know why that’s interesting, but I think it’s worth mentioning. Haha.

So that was Tuesday, and I get today off, which is awesome. In fact my whole schedule is awesome. Other that the fact I have class on Saturdays, it’s pretty sweet. 4-day-week, most half day, and more importantly, no morning classes. Huzzah~

So here I am, idling my day off away in front of the computer because my Astro is not working (they better fix it before American Idol finals tonight man…). Its kind off dull really. Here’s what I watched so far. If you are as bored as I am, you will think he's funny. Annoying, yes, but strangely entertaining.:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_oCyzja0sg



Besides that, I’m kind of bummed I didn’t get to hang out with y’all last Saturday on account of my orientation. I missed Jia Huey’s piercing session! Oh, and Iron Man! What Happens in Vegas!



Who wants to go watch with me again? I belanja popcorn.

P.S. You know what? I found my student ID! Turns out it was in my bag all along, in one of the zipped up compartments... Haha...

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Tag, you're it.

1) What is the most important thing in your life?
Sleep and sugar


2) Will you consider a sexual relationship before marriage?
Most probably. Cause I mean, imagine how anti-climatic would it be to find out that he/she was a total dud in the sack on your wedding night?


3) Do you smoke?
Tried it, but it doesn’t work for me.


4) What is the latest gadget that you own?
A T.I. graphing calculator. Anybody wanna buy? I sell to you cheap cheap.

5) Who did you mostly text yesterday?
My sister. She got lost at Sungai Wang at kept sms-ing because she couldn’t find the Red Box karaoke there. Turns out it was actually a Neway… Haha…genius…

6) How old are you & are you a virgin?
16 going on 17. Yup.

7) What is the last thing that you bought with your own money?
This shirt.

Its a Pikachu smoking bong, hahaha.



8) Where do you wish to get married?

I’m not sure I want to get married. For me, its more of a case of filing for domestic partnership or something so our poor children won’t be bastards.

If my significant other really wanted to though, we’ll most probably get hitched far, far away from all the third degree aunties/uncles we’d have to invite who are only there for the food and bring their entire extended family but only give 30 ringgit ang pau. Or put newspaper in the red packet like in those Chinese shows!! Pengsan…



9) How old do you think you will be permanently owned by your love?

Beats me.


10) How many kids do you want?

At least one I guess.


11) Are you in love?

Alalalalong alalalalalong long long long long long~ Everybody now! Alalalala…


12) Where was the last restaurant you had dinner?

Some Chinese seafood restaurant in Klang. Don’t go there, got rat one.


13) Name the latest book that you bought?

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides.


14)What is your full name?

Why do you want to know?


15)Do you believe in GOD?

There’s someone up there for sure, but I’m not certain it’s the same God you’re talking about.



16)Name a person that you really wish to meet in real life for the first time.

Hitler.


17) Christina or Britney?

Hitler.


18)Do you do your laundry?

Depends what mood my mother is in.


19)The most exciting place you want to go

The zoo! Can see monkeys and cows and donkeys and penguins.


20)Hugs or Kisses? Eskimo kiss?


22)Single or attached? Unwanted, haha.


23)Point out 5 things about the person who tagged you.

Horny, has a wild imagination, thinks Porsches are the shit, is shorter than me (like, omg, ha ha). Go find out for yourself >> http://www.omitthespace.blogspot.com

8 Things I say too often:
- Sorry sorry…blur la.
- Sorry sorry…wasn’t paying attention.
- “Your grandfather’s road/country/house/car/ underwear etc, etc ah?” or “Your grandfather say one ah?” - Dayyyyyummmm... - Ish ish…
- Like that also can?
- That’s true…/ True also la…
- Yeah, okay. (but actually not listening)

8 Things I’m passionate about: - Family and friends - Music - Movies and TV - Learning new things - Laughing with (and sometimes at) others - Art - Travel - Pop culture

8 Songs I could listen to over and over again:

- Plug in Baby, Muse
- Hysteria, Muse
- Romeo and Juliet, The Killers
- Thank You For The Venom, MCR
- Every Me and Every You, Placebo
- Hallelujah, Jeff Buckley/Rufus Wainwright
- Stay Beautiful, The Last Goodnight
- Whatever’s stuck in my head at the time.


8 Things I learned last year:

- How to boil rice!
- Hamburger + Milkshake + Roller coaster = Not a good idea
- What goes around comes around.
- Just nod along. You don’t really have to agree.
- Be a pessimist. That way, you’re never disappointed.
- Never spot questions, you might fail Sejarah.
- In Canada, milk is called homo.
- The faster you hair grows, the more dirty minded you are.


8 People to tag:

Ai Rene, Yinnie, Vanessa, Cheri, Ashton, Yi Ming, Brandon, Wormie?

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Ring, ring.

I swear to god this happened the other day.

I was at home.

All alone.

Minding my own business.

Then…

…the phone rings. *cue creepy theme song from Psycho*


Me: *picks up phone* Hel…

Some Malay lady: Eh. Siapa ini huh?

Sorry? I don’t…

Siapa ini? Siapa ini?? Siapa ini???

Oei. You panggil rumah saya you tanya buat apa?

Eh!! You ni jangan sentuh suami orang lain tau! Dia tu dah ada bini dan anak dua!

?

Tergamak nak usik anak dara orang lain!

……

Berdosa! Berdosa! Insya Allah…*dunno what else in she said in Swahili or Kazakhstani or something*

!

Pengkhianat! Tak malu! Jahil! *something something* TUHAN! *something something* NERAKA! *something something* ALLAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!


At that point, I lost it. Totally and completely lost it. Maybe cause I was high from the six bananas I consumed earlier that day because there was nothing else to eat and because they are an excellent source of potassium. Anyway.


Hahahahaharotflmaohahahaha!!

Eh, ketawa apa ni? This is no laughing matter!

Hahahahaha*snort*ha

Bedebah! Jangan ketawa!

Hahahahbodoh!hahaha

Bismillah *something something*!

HA

TUHAN!

HAHA

NERAKA!!

HA

ALLLLLAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!



This goes on for quite some time. As if it was on loop in ITunes. After a while, I stop, wipe the tears from my eyes and hang up on the psycho (who by the way, was still going strong and was dishing out the religious rebuke like Father Merrin at the end of The Exorcist).

For what its worth, it was the most interesting thing that happened that day.

In the course of the next week, I got a few calls every other afternoon where I would pick up but there would be dead silence from the other end. Occasionally though, it would be replaced by a familiar “Siapa ni?”

Ooookay…


Pretty wild, huh? I went from being an innocent, banana-eating college dropout to the third party of an illicit sexual love-triangle with a married man and his overly devout spouse just like that.

I called Zhi after that, and she said it would’ve been cool if I had played along and had some fun with her. Like, put on some chinky-slut voice and offer her to join in as a threesome for a nominal fee. Or pretend to be a dude and explain that their marriage was just a cover-up and that her husband is, by nature, a poofter.

Damn. If that wasn’t a wasted opportunity to have some dirty, twisted fun, I don’t know what is.

The following week though, the calls gradually stopped coming. And I actually kind of missed them for a bit. I mean, psycho was dumb as a brick, but at least she was funny. I felt like we had something there, a rapport of some kind. She even had a pet name-Pompuan Gila.


Oh, pompuan gila! Wherever you are, I wish you all the best. May you give your husband another chance and give yourselves another shot at happiness. May you resist your urge to cut off his privates with a kitchen knife. May you stop misusing your religion as fuel to that rage problem you so clearly have! May you check yourself in to a looney bin, and may that looney bin be a maximum security mental institution run by trained professionals and amply stocked with happy pills and straightjackets!



XOXO,
Kimmie

Friday, May 9, 2008

The Senarai Baldi

I went to Mid Valley for A TOA exhibition today. Fuiyoh… Zhi, Cheri. All I can say is I’m totally stoked that’s gonna be my new coll. Thanks for taking us, mom! XD



In other news…

I watched The Bucket List with my sister the other day.


See, these two old coots Edward (Jack Nicholson) and Carter (Morgan Freeman) find out Cancer’s gonna kill them, so they make this list of all the things they’ve always wanted to do before they croak. It was pretty awesome, so if you’re looking for a light, inspirational kinna flick without the cheesiness of Hallmark, go see it.


So anyways, it gets me thinking about all the stuff I wanna do before I join the endless party in the sky with Buddha, Jesus, Vishnu, Allah, James Dean and Anna Nicole etc etc… (or to Satan’s big underground rave, you never know).


Well. Here’s what made it to the top ten on my list.






1. Attend a rock festival.


I'm not saying it has to be Woodstock or anything. Just a small get together with 100,000 or so other rock fans ready to headbang/booze/ crowd surf/sing/scream marriage proposals to/worship kick ass alt-rock bands. Mmm…I can smell the sweat and lighter fluid already.

I’m thinking maybe Bonnaroo or Fuji Rock Fest? Ooh...or Glastonbury! Or Ozzfest!! Haha…I’ll take what I can get!




2. Go backpacking…

… with a bunch of my best friends (you know who you guys are).

We’ll have our very own EuroTrip! Haha… It don’t care where else we go, but Amsterdam’s a must. And Italy. And maybe…er…Canada? Haha… I don’t know…

I also really want to go on a vacation to either Japan, Korea or South Africa with the amazing Seishun Amigo gang! Haha… I totally miss you guys and the random things we used to do. Let’s go someday, kays? =)


3. Have my very own tropical island.

The future Pulau Lee Ai Fen



What’s good enough for Johnny Depp is good enough for me.

Must have white sandy beaches, crystal clear water, gay, sunny weather 24-7, electricity, internet access and a 5 star hotel. Plus, a coast guard armed with M16s to keep tresspassers and sharks and jellyfish away. Oh…and must have hot lifeguards who run up and down the beach every 15 minutes, Baywatch style!! Hahaha…awesome man…


4. Open a successful strip joint franchise…



…with my partner in crime/business associate. >=D The details are private for now but tentatively its called Dungeons of Dragons™ and we promise, you’ll have a spankin’ good time!© (guarantee only valid for women and homosexuals).


5. See the northern lights.








Now this is something I really, really want to do. The northern lights, or aurora borealis is a natural phenomenon that makes the night sky light up with waves of pretty colours. It’s incredible.










6. Fire a gun.


Don’t tell me this isn’t on your list either. I don’t have to shoot anyone or anything (although it might be more fun if I did), I just wanna hold an actual gun that’s made to kill and let a bullet rip.


I’m not too fussy about the make, but I’m personally quite fond of Uzis just cause their so cute and squarish, and also those redneck shotguns like the ones in The Dukes of Hazzard.






7. Get stoned.

For once in my life, I wanna ride the magic dragon, just to see what its like. Don’t worry...I’m not looking to get high on coke or H or meth and become a crackwhore or nothing… I just wanna take the light stuff hippies used to roll in their doobies way back in the day when everyone was happy and John Lennon was God.



8. Make my family proud.

Haha, what to do, Asian upbringing’s like that. It’s gonna be impossible to pay them back for everything they’ve done, but I really hope to be able to keep them happy, fulfilled and loved till the end of their days.

Haha. You get to see sentimental Kimmie. That’s something.


9. Create something awesome.

A picture, a story, a song, anything Just a piece of work that’ll make at least one person sit down and think, cry, laugh, get lost in it, love it, hate it, whatever, so long its appreciated and able to move someone emotionally.



Damn it. Sentimental Kimmie again. I knew Chicken Soup for The Soul was a bad idea.



10. Fall in love.




For at least once in my life, I wanna be hopelessly, head over heels, over the moon in love.

Not the “I love you baby”
“No I love you more, shnuckums”
“No I love you more, that’s why I send you 139 corny forwarded love sms-es everyday of the year, spent my parent’s retirement fund on your present for our 2-month-three-week-6-day-18th-hour anniversary and plastered my godawful mugshot on a billboard asking for your hand in marriage on the bahu jalan of LDP on the way to Kelana Jaya
” kind of love.



The kind of love that gives you the butterflies.

The kind of love that makes you forget to breathe.

The kind of love that makes life worth living.

The kind of love that makes your every moment on Earth feel like a blessing.

The kind of love that makes all the shit you’d ever had to go through worth it.

The kind of love that makes you so happy you feel like your heart’s gonna explode.

The kind of love you can live without, but choose not to.

The Bonnie and Clyde, Sid and Nancy, Jack and Sally kinda love.











Surreal.





Unconditional.





Unexplainable.






Love.



I don’t know much about it, but I hear its pretty awesome. Meh. Maybe someday, my prince/princess/Space Cowboy will come.




And that’s that. Haha, I really think I took this whole list a little too seriously huh? That, and this is a pretty long post for a second entry. I’m so proud of myself. Haha.

There’s a whole lot of other stuff I wanna do, and I’m pretty sure this list is gonna change a couple of years down the line, but it was pretty fun writing it down anyway.




So, what’s on your list?

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Guess what, guys?

I'm no longer the only loser without the blog anymore!

Isn't it purdeh? And pink! With pictures and buttons and links and shit like that.

So now...I'm the loser...but with a blog.


So. Yeah. Um...right.
Damn. I'm so with the times, its not even funny.



Oh. And did I mention the pink?? =DD